The only thing I don't like about Spam Musubi is having to eat it with my hands--especially when I'm reading.

Problem solved.

Officially parent-approved as of 3.26.11.

♥.

Tripping over several pairs of enormous sneakers left carelessly in front of the doorway, I surveyed the coffee-stained counters and dusty cobwebs draped across the high ceiling. 

Home sweet home.

Mt Eden Dubstep - Beautiful Lies

Play both simultaneously.

 

 

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

I am.

After several days of careful contemplation, I dialed a number this afternoon and hesitantly confided to a complete stranger for an hour, knowing in the back of my mind that she could trace my call and have me hospitalized.  I was able to successfully convince her that these services were completely unnecessary after our somewhat progressive conversation--so! Overall, I think it turned out pretty well.

Meet Aldo.

I think he likes me.

:)

Chantal, you are feeling disconnected from people and life in general, and you need help.  You can _____________.

a)  Join the church community, then eventually accept Jesus Christ as your Savior
b)  Begin seeing a therapist--figure out how to word your sorrows and history without getting anyone arrested
c)  Become a habitual drug user, either with antidepressants or something more recreational
d)  Adopt a kitten to temporarily replace human interaction with animal affection

Eric, he who despises all hair and fur, is driving me to pick up a kitten today.  Is this really happening?

As I stood at the edge of the sidewalk deciding when to cross the street among the blurring cars, I contemplated my future in nonchalance.

I need to appreciate life more.  Out here alone in the cold is not the place where I can do that.

A mountain of balled up tissue balances precariously next to my head, threatening to bury me in my own filth--not that it matters any how since I've been marinating in sweat since last night.  The chills confuse me. 

J gave me all his flu medicine when he found me sick in bed this morning. 

I feel so touched.  ::sobs::

So apparently, R heard me wailing for an hour in the bathroom two nights ago from our bedroom, and she's noticed that I've been really depressed lately.  When she brought it up today, I had a sinking feeling in my heart.  I had a complete melt down at the time and didn't even consider the fact that people could hear me.  Then again, now that I think about it, I do recall James loudly slamming his door in response to my hysterics that night.  I figured she would reprimand me for disturbing her.

Instead, she told me how she felt about my relationship and announced, "I don't approve, Chantal.  You deserve better, and you could do better"--just like she would say two years ago when we used to take walks at Golden Gate Park. 

She had known me since middle school and she had never seen me like this before.  Among our friends, she felt that I had the most cheerful disposition and the most pride, so crying was an inconceivable concept to her when it came to me.  Because of this, she knew something was really wrong.  For her to notice and to actually show concern for me was really touching, despite her negative opinions--which quite frankly, were not at all that unreasonable.  Since any displays of care and affection from her have always been so rare, this sudden intervention meant very much to me.  ::sobs::  I'm so happy. 

Tonight, she made me dinner.  She told me I wasn't eating enough.  (I didn't even have to do the dishes!)