Blackmill - Lucid Truth

Melodic dubstep.

Pasta stir-fried in homemade tomato sauce, tossed with sweet yellow bell peppers and crisp celery.

Dear Martin,

If all goes according to plan, you should receive a package 5 days from May 26, which means it will arrive on your Tuesday, June 1st--just in time for your birthday.  (Or the day before?)

So remember to check your mail. 

Love,
Chantal

My family likes to send me pictures of Aldo.

It makes me ridiculously happy.

Why is it the moment I decide to become more health-conscious eye wise that I develop a corneal ulcer the same day?

Basically, my cornea has been damaged and compromised by bacteria that will cause blindness if left untreated or is improperly treated. 

According to the ophthalmologist, aggressive antibiotic treatment--which means administering eye drops every hour for about a week--will take care of the problem in no time.

Nevertheless, I will be scarred for life--branded for my negligence.  I suppose it'll serve as a constant reminder for myself to adhere to contact lens guidelines more rigidly.

Lesson learned.

I admit it, I am an enabler.

On a side note, I never realized how small he was until now.

 

Nero - Promises

Replay, replay, replay.

C:  I have a headache.  There's traffic.  They won't shut up.  FML. 
E:  Why don't you go do something mindless, like paint your nails.
C:  Hah hah.  I need support. 
E:  Want me to call you or something?
C:  No.  Tell me a joke.
E:  Women's rights.
C:  Oh really. I can tell you a joke. 
E:  And that joke would be?
C:  Your penis.
E:  Enjoy the rest of your evening.

...And thus she was forsaken, left at the mercy of four sorority girls and their incessant prattle for over two hours in a crowded car making its way slowly back to San Francisco.

Mindless activity.

Congratulations, World, you have broken me.  I understand I am also partly to blame.  

There's nothing to see here now,
Turning the sign around;
We're closed to the Earth 'til further notice. 

Leave me alone.   

Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un ma dit

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,

They pass like an instant, like wilting roses.

I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard

Making its coat of our sorrows.

Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me

Someone told me…

That you still loved me.

Well ? Could that be possible?

I’m told that fate makes fun of us,

That it gives us nothing and promises everything,

When happiness seems to be within our reach,

We reach out and find ourselves like fools.

Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me

On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand-chose
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud
Que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore
Serait-ce possible alors ?

On me dit que le destin se moque bien de nous
Qu'il ne nous donne rien et qu'il nous promet tout
Paraît que le bonheur est à portée de main
Alors on tend la main et on se retrouve fou
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore

Stepping lightly through dark puddles wearing naught but stockings and ballet flats, the rain blurred my eyes and made my hair cry.

Everything drips in this weather.

We are so far from the ocean--yet, when it pours, it sounds like a coastal lullaby and I can't help but drift into its white noise.

On this rainy, grey afternoon, I managed to convince E to have a go with my pastels. He relented on account that we play art with a side of Mimosas.

Not bad, not bad. I actually really like this.

Soft Pastels, Gouache Paints

::laughs::  He was actually sleeping like that. 

maggy and milly and molly and may

maggy and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea

-E. E. Cummings

Robert de Boron - Rainbow Trees

O:56

Everyday since this mess has happened, I've been having these vivid dreams where all my teeth fall out in one way or the other.  They are terrifying. 

I'm not one for dream interpreting, but three days of nightmares with the same reoccurring theme causes for some sort of self reflection.  According to Global Oneness, my dreams--which are a psychoanalysis of myself--can be interpreted as follows:  

-Teeth are the strongest visible part of the body and therefore if they crumble, decay or come loose, it can imply that our very foundations seem to be crumbling.

-Another rationalization for these falling teeth dream may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation; these dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxiety.

-Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power, and the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness.  You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion.


In other words, my subconscious is telling me to grow a pair.

For fuck's sake, I would really like everyone from the shop to leave me alone and give me some time to myself.

Cursed cellphones.

 

Sharpie Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker

A: cheer up
A: seriously
A: focus on ur own future shit first
A: eggettes brings u no where
A: so yea thats all i gotta say
A: ill find a way to get mandy and u back together
A: but if i dont it might mean cuz he wont let me either
A: but we'll see

In times of need, some friends really, really shine through.

When I told R I had been fired (since Sunday apparently, I just wasn't notified until today), she asked me, "Do you want to get tapioca?"

To anyone who didn't know me very well, her question would have seemed quite insensitive.  On the contrary, it was very thoughtful of her to ask--tapioca is actually my comfort food, sadly. 

Father says it's politics.

I say it's bullshit.

Apparently it's the same thing.

Why are my nephews so adorable?

I am a puddle.   

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Sharpie Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker

Babushka Kitty?  My sister is having way too much fun with him. 

Aldo is not amused. 

This may sound horribly ungrateful of me, but I wish K wouldn't upgrade my drink to a large every time I drop by the shop. It always ends up tasting really diluted, and I happen to be unusually particular about the level of sugar in my milk tea.  To decline his nice gesture would be rude; however, to make requests would be inappropriate. 

E finds this all very entertaining--"Such a dilemma," he says.  It boggles his mind how I'm trying to avoid this benefit I'm being given due to quirky personal standards.  According to him, the fact that it's free should compensate any negative factors involved.    

So here's the win-win solution R came up with:  From now on, I'll order her drink, in which he'll will upgrade to a large, and she'll order my drink, which will stay the same size because he's not familiar with her.

(I must say, she happens to be quite brilliant when her own self interest is involved.) 

Sorted!  This plan shall be implemented starting next week.

Sharpie Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker

Strawberry frozen yogurt parfait, dusted with sugar.

Keeping things sweet.

Fuck.

I suspect that a year from now, I will look back on this entry and wonder what I meant at the time by the bleak singularity of this ambiguous word.

Sharpie Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker

I bought strawberries on sale for $0.75 a box yesterday, which may quite possibly have been the only redeeming aspect of these past couple of weeks. I may be drained, but my wallet doesn't have to be.

When life's a bit complicated and everything that can go wrong has gone wrong, it's best just to enjoy the simple things, whenever or wherever you may chance upon them--like in a grocery market, for instance.

Now I've got 3lbs of strawberries to do god knows what with.

This is kind of exciting.

The xx - Heart Skipped a Beat

1:11

Heart skipped a beat

And when I caught it you were out of reach

But I'm sure, I'm sure

You've heard it before