Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The problem is,
I'm interested about people, not so much interested in them--or being involved with them in that way, much less involving them in my life. As I run into more and more awkward professions, it becomes obvious that it's my enthusiasm and singular nature that tends to land me in these sorts of situations. It creates half of a bridge that people try to run across without realizing that the other half--you know, the crucial bit--is missing.
I realize my enigmatic attitude causes somewhat of an unwarranted headfucking. These people probably deserve better. OR. Maybe I do. Well, that would explain everything.
But in actuality, it's just that I haven't figured out what I want yet, or if I even want anything at all, at this point. Realistically, seeing how we're readying ourselves for a period of major transition in life right now, it's not the time to seriously commit to anything but yourself, really. You have to sort yourself out first.
I just wish I would be able to maintain that mentality during my period. Ugh, when you're bleeding your insides out and your hormones are overtaking your sensibility and exaggerating your emotions, there are just so many things you want, things you don't ordinarily want, much less need (e.g. intimate companionship, cupcakes, etc.). Then a week pasts and you just feel silly for having those thoughts and acting out. It's argued that PMS is a culture-specific syndrome limited to Western countries, you know. Other societies primarily report physical pain for their PMS symptoms. It makes you wonder if it's all in our heads, this whole mood swing thing. Growing up, we hear and learn all about this PMS crap from crazy women, scared men, and well-meaning textbooks--it wouldn't be unlikely that that influences us on a subconscious level, causing us to act a little psychotic during our time of the month as well.
OR MAYBE, it's catharsis.
Ok, shut up, Chantal. Shut up. You could analyze this all night and still get nowhere.
I realize my enigmatic attitude causes somewhat of an unwarranted headfucking. These people probably deserve better. OR. Maybe I do. Well, that would explain everything.
But in actuality, it's just that I haven't figured out what I want yet, or if I even want anything at all, at this point. Realistically, seeing how we're readying ourselves for a period of major transition in life right now, it's not the time to seriously commit to anything but yourself, really. You have to sort yourself out first.
I just wish I would be able to maintain that mentality during my period. Ugh, when you're bleeding your insides out and your hormones are overtaking your sensibility and exaggerating your emotions, there are just so many things you want, things you don't ordinarily want, much less need (e.g. intimate companionship, cupcakes, etc.). Then a week pasts and you just feel silly for having those thoughts and acting out. It's argued that PMS is a culture-specific syndrome limited to Western countries, you know. Other societies primarily report physical pain for their PMS symptoms. It makes you wonder if it's all in our heads, this whole mood swing thing. Growing up, we hear and learn all about this PMS crap from crazy women, scared men, and well-meaning textbooks--it wouldn't be unlikely that that influences us on a subconscious level, causing us to act a little psychotic during our time of the month as well.
OR MAYBE, it's catharsis.
Ok, shut up, Chantal. Shut up. You could analyze this all night and still get nowhere.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Gussie's Chicken and Waffles, San Francisco
Gussie has opened new doors for me. Southern food is amazing, and these are the best freakin' waffles I have ever had in my life.
 |
| Gussie's Signature Sweet Potato Waffles: 2 waffles made with fresh sweet potatoes, spices, brown sugar and a whole lotta love! |
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| Red Velvet Waffle: with cream cheese frosting dollop, pecans and syrup |
Nijiya Market, San Francisco
Upon sinking my teeth into this soft, fluffy cake of glutinous goodness and discovering bits of strawberry pieces, I knew I had been blessed with a slice of heaven.
I do believe this rivals the strawberry mochi that Murata's Cafe Hana sells.
I do believe this rivals the strawberry mochi that Murata's Cafe Hana sells.
 |
| Strawberry Mochi |
My Favorite Cafe, San Francisco
Fresh fruit (watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, kiwi, strawberry, mango) mixed with creamy coconut milk, mildly sweetened with black sticky rice? I think I've finally found my staple dessert here.
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| Mixed Fruit with Coconut Milk and Sticky Black Rice |
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Happiness Is
Today, for the first time since I've worked with E, he greeted me by my name. Twice. Many of the children at Bridge don't care to learn their tutors' names, much less call them by it, unless they really like them. Up until now, I've been nameless, or simply referred to as "Tutor."
He was also able to read through a short paragraph about Velociraptors without stumbling--this has never happened before.
I almost cried.
He was also able to read through a short paragraph about Velociraptors without stumbling--this has never happened before.
I almost cried.
I suppose getting lost isn't always terrible...
Sometimes, you find good things on the way back.
I met these little guys when I made a wrong turn in one of our science buildings today.
I met these little guys when I made a wrong turn in one of our science buildings today.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Shanghai Town, Davis
I've developed a pretty unhealthy love affair with Shanghai Town, which I've newly discovered. I think we're moving too fast; this is the second time this week I've indulged. I don't think my heart can take it if we can go any further--I can feel my arteries clogging up from the grease, a staple ingredient of the food from our Motherland.
It's quite possible that it may be the best Chinese restaurant in Davis.
They have a menu special where you can buy 3 entree dishes for $19.99--the food is amazing and the proportions are massive in comparison to other places.
We ordered pick-up today--it took barely15 minutes for our food to come out.
Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is impressive.
It's quite possible that it may be the best Chinese restaurant in Davis.
They have a menu special where you can buy 3 entree dishes for $19.99--the food is amazing and the proportions are massive in comparison to other places.
We ordered pick-up today--it took barely15 minutes for our food to come out.
Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is impressive.
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| Bamboo Chicken with Mushrooms |
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| Spicy Shanghai Rice Cakes |
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| Spicy Eggplant Vermicelli & Shredded Pork Clay Pot |
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I swear to god, my nose has gotten higher from being blown so much lately. I've been congested as fuck, totally loaded, but just shootin' blanks. Come already!!
Wait.
That sounds kind of wrong. Oh right. The nose is a phallic symbol--17th century British literature taught me that.
It certainly puts "blow your nose" in a completely new light, doesn't it? Interesting word choice.
Wait.
That sounds kind of wrong. Oh right. The nose is a phallic symbol--17th century British literature taught me that.
It certainly puts "blow your nose" in a completely new light, doesn't it? Interesting word choice.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Bitch Bitch Bitch
I checked my Smartsite blog I'm required to maintain for my Education course today, and one of my group members left me a comment on one of my posts that just Set. Me. Off. I was already aggravated earlier this afternoon after having taken my HDE midterm, which was one those tests where the teacher sets you up to fail. There were 80 questions and more than half of them were in this format:
Karen is more likely to disclose deep intimate information to her best friend or her romantic partner than to her parents. Karen is probably:
A. middle childhood/preadolescence
B. early adolescence
C. mid-adolescence
D. late adolescence/emerging adulthood
Jimmy was walking home with his friends and they decided to steal candy from the local liquor store. Jimmy did not go along with what they were doing but felt the need to fit in. Which grade is Jimmy most likely in?
A. 6th
B. 9th
C. 10th
D. 12th
What Bullshit is This.
Then, for my English course, my professor made us read and analyze a short story in the form of a run-on sentence that lasted for two pages--without any punctuations whatsoever. Fuck you, Robert Coover. Only E. E. Cummings gets to pull that shit.
But I digress. Anyway, so in that blog post, I wrote about how I felt slight irritation (but I didn't express it) at a student who was giving me problems--I also stated that it took a lot from children to aggravate me, and that it was the first time since I've started working with kids that I had felt that way. However, I handled the situation well and she began to behave from that day on. I left my readers with "So! If you experience a child testing your limits, keep calm. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but patience is truly the key."
And this bitch said:
"I honestly think you really have to prepare yourself mentally before you enter a classroom like this. If you are willing to be in that environment than that means you are willing to tolerate and be patient with such behavior. Always stay calm and patient and understand what else could be bothering the student besides the assignment. The way you described your emotions worried me a bit to be honest. But I am not trying to critique but giving some feedback."
Boy, did you even read what I wrote? I am the epitome of empathy and understanding. I work with a child with learning disabilities and with at-risk, low income youth prone to behavior problems, so I know what patience and tolerance is, Mr. "I-work-with-AP-English-students." From my post, obviously I stayed calm and patient throughout the whole ordeal, otherwise she wouldn't have started doing her work.
"I honestly think you really have to prepare yourself mentally before you enter a classroom like this."
What the fuck? You think I came through the door riding a rainbow and expected it to be easy working with third graders? It's universally established that you will encounter problems when working with children.
"The way your described your emotions worried me a bit to be honest."
You can mentally prepare yourself for possible situations that may arise, but you can't prepare how you feel. What you can control is what you do about it. I felt irritated, but I was calm and collected while working with the child, which was what attributed to my success, so I don't know what you're "worried" about.
Lastly, critique and feedback are essentially the same thing, idiot.
I hope your kidney stones multiply and grow to the size of golf balls.
Karen is more likely to disclose deep intimate information to her best friend or her romantic partner than to her parents. Karen is probably:
A. middle childhood/preadolescence
B. early adolescence
C. mid-adolescence
D. late adolescence/emerging adulthood
Jimmy was walking home with his friends and they decided to steal candy from the local liquor store. Jimmy did not go along with what they were doing but felt the need to fit in. Which grade is Jimmy most likely in?
A. 6th
B. 9th
C. 10th
D. 12th
What Bullshit is This.
Then, for my English course, my professor made us read and analyze a short story in the form of a run-on sentence that lasted for two pages--without any punctuations whatsoever. Fuck you, Robert Coover. Only E. E. Cummings gets to pull that shit.
But I digress. Anyway, so in that blog post, I wrote about how I felt slight irritation (but I didn't express it) at a student who was giving me problems--I also stated that it took a lot from children to aggravate me, and that it was the first time since I've started working with kids that I had felt that way. However, I handled the situation well and she began to behave from that day on. I left my readers with "So! If you experience a child testing your limits, keep calm. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but patience is truly the key."
And this bitch said:
"I honestly think you really have to prepare yourself mentally before you enter a classroom like this. If you are willing to be in that environment than that means you are willing to tolerate and be patient with such behavior. Always stay calm and patient and understand what else could be bothering the student besides the assignment. The way you described your emotions worried me a bit to be honest. But I am not trying to critique but giving some feedback."
Boy, did you even read what I wrote? I am the epitome of empathy and understanding. I work with a child with learning disabilities and with at-risk, low income youth prone to behavior problems, so I know what patience and tolerance is, Mr. "I-work-with-AP-English-students." From my post, obviously I stayed calm and patient throughout the whole ordeal, otherwise she wouldn't have started doing her work.
"I honestly think you really have to prepare yourself mentally before you enter a classroom like this."
What the fuck? You think I came through the door riding a rainbow and expected it to be easy working with third graders? It's universally established that you will encounter problems when working with children.
"The way your described your emotions worried me a bit to be honest."
You can mentally prepare yourself for possible situations that may arise, but you can't prepare how you feel. What you can control is what you do about it. I felt irritated, but I was calm and collected while working with the child, which was what attributed to my success, so I don't know what you're "worried" about.
Lastly, critique and feedback are essentially the same thing, idiot.
I hope your kidney stones multiply and grow to the size of golf balls.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
This is Your Ambition Speaking:
Ten years from now I see myself hunched over my eighth glass of champagne in a French restaurant (window seat), dreaming up ways to escape the banality of every day life. Alone. Without a husband, without children.
I will feast on the souls of men to compensate for my own, and discard their hearts like how you would bones. The only thing I will have commited myself to is a psychiatric ward where my feelings will be chemically induced and where my thoughts will be chemically repressed. With such aid of narcotics, I will see the world through rose-colored lenses and frolic in our paper towns full of paper people, blissfully unaware of the unbearable lightness of being. Like a sheet of paper, I will drift and breeze through the crowd, and someone will ask,
"Who is that?"
To which I will reply, "Anyone."
I am but a possibility.
.......................................................................................
C: Interesting. Reminds me of a mixture of the druggie books I'm so fond of and girl characters from John Green novels. And honey, ten years from now you won't be hunched over your eighth glass of champagne. You will probably have fallen off your window seat in a slump and passed out in a very unladylike manner. And you will be snoring.
C: It's a fictional free write, dumbass.
C: I thought you were talking about yourself! I'm seriously LOLing.
C: Actually, I probably wouldn't mind if that was how my life turned out. Maybe I'll revise it and add a cat.
C: LOL I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A CAT.
I will feast on the souls of men to compensate for my own, and discard their hearts like how you would bones. The only thing I will have commited myself to is a psychiatric ward where my feelings will be chemically induced and where my thoughts will be chemically repressed. With such aid of narcotics, I will see the world through rose-colored lenses and frolic in our paper towns full of paper people, blissfully unaware of the unbearable lightness of being. Like a sheet of paper, I will drift and breeze through the crowd, and someone will ask,
"Who is that?"
To which I will reply, "Anyone."
I am but a possibility.
.......................................................................................
C: Interesting. Reminds me of a mixture of the druggie books I'm so fond of and girl characters from John Green novels. And honey, ten years from now you won't be hunched over your eighth glass of champagne. You will probably have fallen off your window seat in a slump and passed out in a very unladylike manner. And you will be snoring.
C: It's a fictional free write, dumbass.
C: I thought you were talking about yourself! I'm seriously LOLing.
C: Actually, I probably wouldn't mind if that was how my life turned out. Maybe I'll revise it and add a cat.
C: LOL I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A CAT.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Not gonna lie. I had a pretty shitty day (well, apart from when E smiled brightly at the sight of me and enthusiastically said HI...and when I bought a double fudge brownie from the CoHo, which was absolutely fucking amazing), but not for reasons you may think and for reasons I will not state.
Vexed, cold, and congested, I holed myself up in my room and spent the night in seclusion actually working on homework in a timely manner for once--until I received a text from R asking me to go out. In my current state, I didn't really want to but I did anyways (R's always my exception), so we went out to get boba (comfort food!). When I climbed into the car, she gave me a big kiss and asked me to be her Valentine.
Just kidding about the last part. She wished me a Happy Valentine's Day. D'awww :)
♥.
Vexed, cold, and congested, I holed myself up in my room and spent the night in seclusion actually working on homework in a timely manner for once--until I received a text from R asking me to go out. In my current state, I didn't really want to but I did anyways (R's always my exception), so we went out to get boba (comfort food!). When I climbed into the car, she gave me a big kiss and asked me to be her Valentine.
Just kidding about the last part. She wished me a Happy Valentine's Day. D'awww :)
♥.
Neon Hitch - Gucci Gucci (Kreayshawn Cover)
I've got a thing for trashy British artists.
Gucci Gucci, Fendi Fendi, Prada
Other bitches wear that shit, so I don't even bother
I put that on my partner, I put that on my family
London town I represent, address me as your majesty
Yeah you can kiss the ring, but you never touch the crown
Only smoke ojino blunts and I ain't never coming down.
Other bitches wear that shit, so I don't even bother
I put that on my partner, I put that on my family
London town I represent, address me as your majesty
Yeah you can kiss the ring, but you never touch the crown
Only smoke ojino blunts and I ain't never coming down.
Chantal, you really suck ass for not keeping updated with your syllabuses.
Please do your work.
2/15, Wednesday
ENL149 The Stepford Wives paper
HDE100B Midterm
*Child observation at CCFS 3:00-3:30pm, start on paper for HDE100A (8-10 pages)
2/17, Friday
ENL149 Sylvia Plath paper
Todorov paper
Research paper rough draft (5-7 pages)
*Remember to do weekly reactions and responses on Smartsite for EDU100.
.......................................................................................
2/21, Tuesday
EDU100 Midterm
2/22, Wednesday
HDE100B Paper #2
HDE100A Midterm
Please do your work.
2/15, Wednesday
ENL149 The Stepford Wives paper
HDE100B Midterm
*Child observation at CCFS 3:00-3:30pm, start on paper for HDE100A (8-10 pages)
2/17, Friday
ENL149 Sylvia Plath paper
Todorov paper
Research paper rough draft (5-7 pages)
*Remember to do weekly reactions and responses on Smartsite for EDU100.
.......................................................................................
2/21, Tuesday
EDU100 Midterm
2/22, Wednesday
HDE100B Paper #2
HDE100A Midterm
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Masquerade Prep
I too, can be crafty.
1) Trim cheap, plastic mask to desired shape.
2) Strategically apply layers of lace ribbons.
3) Strategically align edges with ribbon.
4) Slit holes on both ends of mask, thread ribbons through; knot.
5) Voila, masquerade mask.
1) Trim cheap, plastic mask to desired shape.
2) Strategically apply layers of lace ribbons.
3) Strategically align edges with ribbon.
4) Slit holes on both ends of mask, thread ribbons through; knot.
5) Voila, masquerade mask.
(There's like a bajillion layers of glue holding this thing together. I even sprayed it over with an acrylic coating and lined the edges with clear nail varnish to make sure it didn't fray or fall apart.)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Coldplay - Paradise
Current favorite.
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of paradise
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of paradise
Having taken this advanced course for English, it is quite evident that I am but a person of mediocrity. Why must everyone be so bloody brilliant and academic? Where is my arsenal of literary jargon?
How do you connect "The Third Resignation"* to post-colonialism?! Ok, I'm probably missing the background of the author and the time period it was written in, which is relevant to analyzing this short story, but really now--I don't think I'm capable of elaborating for hours on end on a 5 page text, even with this context (or on any literature really), which is essential for passing this course.
Oh my god. I've come to the realization that I am pathetically incompetent for a LitCrit major.
Now I shall drown my sorrows in...water. And collapse into myself like a dying star.
*"The Third Resignation" is a chilling Kafkaesque narrative about a comatose male who lives from the age of seven to the age of twenty-five in a coffin.
How do you connect "The Third Resignation"* to post-colonialism?! Ok, I'm probably missing the background of the author and the time period it was written in, which is relevant to analyzing this short story, but really now--I don't think I'm capable of elaborating for hours on end on a 5 page text, even with this context (or on any literature really), which is essential for passing this course.
Oh my god. I've come to the realization that I am pathetically incompetent for a LitCrit major.
Now I shall drown my sorrows in...water. And collapse into myself like a dying star.
*"The Third Resignation" is a chilling Kafkaesque narrative about a comatose male who lives from the age of seven to the age of twenty-five in a coffin.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
All in a day's work...
C: So how old do you think I am?
E: 50?
C: 50?! Your mom's probably not even 50! Ok, so what's my name?
E: ...Konnichiwa?
C: E, that's racist.
E: Oh, sorry!
E: 50?
C: 50?! Your mom's probably not even 50! Ok, so what's my name?
E: ...Konnichiwa?
C: E, that's racist.
E: Oh, sorry!
Casting Pearls - You Alone
Mellow, alternative rock.
Hmm. It's kind of like the religious, hopeful version of Brand New's Jesus. Kind of.
Hmm. It's kind of like the religious, hopeful version of Brand New's Jesus. Kind of.
If I go to the heavens above
Lord I know You are there
And if I make my bed in the depths
Lord I Know You are there
If I rise on wings of dawn
Or sail on the far side of the sea
Even still, Lord I know you will
You will always be there with me
Lord I know You are there
And if I make my bed in the depths
Lord I Know You are there
If I rise on wings of dawn
Or sail on the far side of the sea
Even still, Lord I know you will
You will always be there with me
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
On Monday, I had to observe a three year old for 25 minutes in order to write an 8-9 page paper for my HDE course, which is due this afternoon.
That morning on my way to the Center for Child and Family Studies to go kid-watching, I journeyed with elevated levels of confidence in my navigation skills--after all, it was simply located on 1st St. of Downtown Davis. So I walked from my apartment all the way to the Memorial Union, past the Death Star where I reached 3rd St. and walked a block up, to which I then made a right and walked several blocks across to finally get to 1st St. The whole trip took about 45 minutes. Then I took the same way back to school, and was almost late to class getting to Olson. Regardless, I was pretty proud of myself until I went home and related my feat to L, who decided to set me straight:
"...Giiirl. The Center for Child and Family Studies is located exactly right across the street from Olson."
SON. OF. A. B--
Anyways, so I'm on the last page of my paper and I really don't want to do it because the summary/conclusion section is completely redundant. The child that I observed is obviously brilliant--it's stated and supported throughout the whole paper, so is it really necessary to reiterate all of that?
Under the section heading for Summary/Conclusion, I just put:
She is a fucking super star. Refer to previous 8 pages.
Just kidding.
That morning on my way to the Center for Child and Family Studies to go kid-watching, I journeyed with elevated levels of confidence in my navigation skills--after all, it was simply located on 1st St. of Downtown Davis. So I walked from my apartment all the way to the Memorial Union, past the Death Star where I reached 3rd St. and walked a block up, to which I then made a right and walked several blocks across to finally get to 1st St. The whole trip took about 45 minutes. Then I took the same way back to school, and was almost late to class getting to Olson. Regardless, I was pretty proud of myself until I went home and related my feat to L, who decided to set me straight:
"...Giiirl. The Center for Child and Family Studies is located exactly right across the street from Olson."
SON. OF. A. B--
Anyways, so I'm on the last page of my paper and I really don't want to do it because the summary/conclusion section is completely redundant. The child that I observed is obviously brilliant--it's stated and supported throughout the whole paper, so is it really necessary to reiterate all of that?
Under the section heading for Summary/Conclusion, I just put:
She is a fucking super star. Refer to previous 8 pages.
Just kidding.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
For the first time since I've started working with E this year, he actually waved and smiled at me today.
I felt like throwing myself at his feet and sobbing. He actually looked kind of happy.
I rarely see him smile or genuinely enjoy himself--well, apart from when he convulses into these strange, hysterical laughing fits out of nowhere, for reasons beyond me.
I felt like throwing myself at his feet and sobbing. He actually looked kind of happy.
I rarely see him smile or genuinely enjoy himself--well, apart from when he convulses into these strange, hysterical laughing fits out of nowhere, for reasons beyond me.
Robert de Boron - Advice ft. Surreal
A smooth, meaningful rap sung by a deep voice, paired with a mellow piano beat.
Know the difference,
Start distinguishing the important things in life
And those with no significance.
Start distinguishing the important things in life
And those with no significance.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Dallying in Thai desserts.
Tab Tim Grob: Water chestnuts are finely chopped, soaked in red food coloring, drenched in tapioca flour, and boiled in water--the end result is bits of pink-colored water chestnuts coated in a fine layer of gelatin, resembling that of pomegranate seeds.
Serve chilled in sweetened coconut milk.
How to describe...it's like sago with a kick to it. Very good!
Serve chilled in sweetened coconut milk.
How to describe...it's like sago with a kick to it. Very good!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Special Education
I've been working with E, a fifth grader with severe learning disabilities who's working at a first grade level. One of the reasons why he is doing so poorly in school is because he doesn't know how to read properly, which is fundamental for comprehension and application. I've timed him--it takes him about a minute to read 4 sentences aloud because he has difficulty pronouncing the words (the average rate is between 200 - 250 words per minute) . If he can't pronounce the words, he doesn't know what he's reading, and if he can't identify what he's reading, he doesn't understand what the text is saying. It's kind of like trying to add when you don't know even how to count--I've actually worked with first grader with this problem.
Sitting here today, I wondered why and how he's been able to come so far with such fundamental problems. He's in fifth grade, but he's obviously not working at the same level. E is working at a much slower pace, but it's not because he's stupid.
I think he's just never got the extra help he needed. I feel like many of the other tutors corrected his mistakes, but never attempted to explain to him why or how he got those problems wrong, which is why he's stuck working at a beginner's level. Whenever we walk in, no one wants to work with E. The ones that do, don't have the patience to help him at his pace and you can see their frustration, their dislike. I understand it's not easy, but it still makes me angry because the bottom line is, they don't care about him getting better. They're just here to do their job, which is to make sure the kids get their homework done correctly.
Today, he forgot his homework, so I decided to teach him how to read for half an hour. He complied to my curriculum without too much cajoling, surprisingly. When he started applying the rules of pronunciation to the book I asked him to read aloud, I felt really excited and proud of him because it was the first sign of progress he'd made since the beginning of the year.
So sorry dad, I can't leave my job, and I don't care whether you understand or not. But I think that you will after I tell you the reason why.
You may not agree with my decision, but after having met E, it's made me realize that if I do pursue a career in education, I think I want it to be something that helps children with extra needs and intellectual disabilities.
Sitting here today, I wondered why and how he's been able to come so far with such fundamental problems. He's in fifth grade, but he's obviously not working at the same level. E is working at a much slower pace, but it's not because he's stupid.
I think he's just never got the extra help he needed. I feel like many of the other tutors corrected his mistakes, but never attempted to explain to him why or how he got those problems wrong, which is why he's stuck working at a beginner's level. Whenever we walk in, no one wants to work with E. The ones that do, don't have the patience to help him at his pace and you can see their frustration, their dislike. I understand it's not easy, but it still makes me angry because the bottom line is, they don't care about him getting better. They're just here to do their job, which is to make sure the kids get their homework done correctly.
Today, he forgot his homework, so I decided to teach him how to read for half an hour. He complied to my curriculum without too much cajoling, surprisingly. When he started applying the rules of pronunciation to the book I asked him to read aloud, I felt really excited and proud of him because it was the first sign of progress he'd made since the beginning of the year.
So sorry dad, I can't leave my job, and I don't care whether you understand or not. But I think that you will after I tell you the reason why.
You may not agree with my decision, but after having met E, it's made me realize that if I do pursue a career in education, I think I want it to be something that helps children with extra needs and intellectual disabilities.
Kate Early - When You're Ready
I will wait patiently
When the world you're caught up in fades, come to me
And you know I'm not holding my breath
But you know how to find me
And you know there's a knot in my chest
Only you can untie me
When you're ready for love
'Cause you know all along
I'm the one you wanted, baby
All your reasons are wrong
Now I know why you run
And I'm not leaving
Before I got that you're just lost
I used to think I wasn't enough
When you're ready for love
'Cause you know all along
I'm the one that you want, baby
When the world you're caught up in fades, come to me
And you know I'm not holding my breath
But you know how to find me
And you know there's a knot in my chest
Only you can untie me
When you're ready for love
'Cause you know all along
I'm the one you wanted, baby
All your reasons are wrong
Now I know why you run
And I'm not leaving
Before I got that you're just lost
I used to think I wasn't enough
When you're ready for love
'Cause you know all along
I'm the one that you want, baby
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
As we all know, working with younger kids can be quite difficult, quite difficult indeed. They like to test you, and see how far they can push you until you throw yourself over the edge.
On Monday, I worked with a child who had such tendencies. For the first time in all my experiences working with children, I actually felt a rise of irritation inside--it takes a lot for me to feel this way. She understood the work, but kept insisting she didn't. We spent 15 minutes on parallels and intersects, information that I knew she knew. If you can tell me the definitions of both the terms, then you know how to apply it to the problem asking you to draw a parallel and an intersect because that is essentially the same thing.
It bothered me because I could have been helping others who actually needed my help, but I felt that if I moved on and ignored her, this problem would constantly reoccur until I handled it myself. I felt that if I went to the teacher about this and "tattled," I wouldn't earn her respect because it would question the effectiveness of my authority. Also, if I had gone to the teacher, she could have easily feigned innocence and accused me of not being helpful. Children are manipulative. Either way, I felt that she wasn't a significant enough problem to report. After all, the reason why I'm here is because the teacher needs the assistance--I can't run to her for every trivial obstacle that comes at hand. Thus, I endured it and patiently explained over and over again what the terms meant until she herself got tired of her own bullshit and started doing her work. GIIIRL, THAT'S RIGHT. You can't touch this.
On Tuesday, she behaved very well--no problems at all.
So! If you experience a child testing your limits, keep calm. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but patience is truly the key.
On Monday, I worked with a child who had such tendencies. For the first time in all my experiences working with children, I actually felt a rise of irritation inside--it takes a lot for me to feel this way. She understood the work, but kept insisting she didn't. We spent 15 minutes on parallels and intersects, information that I knew she knew. If you can tell me the definitions of both the terms, then you know how to apply it to the problem asking you to draw a parallel and an intersect because that is essentially the same thing.
It bothered me because I could have been helping others who actually needed my help, but I felt that if I moved on and ignored her, this problem would constantly reoccur until I handled it myself. I felt that if I went to the teacher about this and "tattled," I wouldn't earn her respect because it would question the effectiveness of my authority. Also, if I had gone to the teacher, she could have easily feigned innocence and accused me of not being helpful. Children are manipulative. Either way, I felt that she wasn't a significant enough problem to report. After all, the reason why I'm here is because the teacher needs the assistance--I can't run to her for every trivial obstacle that comes at hand. Thus, I endured it and patiently explained over and over again what the terms meant until she herself got tired of her own bullshit and started doing her work. GIIIRL, THAT'S RIGHT. You can't touch this.
On Tuesday, she behaved very well--no problems at all.
So! If you experience a child testing your limits, keep calm. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but patience is truly the key.
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