"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though.
But it was a hopeful kind of sad.
The kind of sad that just takes time."

-Stephen Chbosky

Pen

Should I pick up and run off to ______________.

a) Korea for 2 years to teach English in a rural elementary school
b) Some low income community in the U.S. to teach children for 2 years
c) LA (or East Palo Alto, Modesto, Oakland, Sacramento, Stockton) to commit to a 4 year program that will provide me a Masters of Arts in Education, California Teaching Credential, and a guaranteed job upon completion
d) New York, to chase the dream in Publications
e) None of the above

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

Not a fan of the sappy lyrics, but other than that, it's a nice song--though, it is somewhat reminiscent of Secondhand Serenade's Fall for you, which I can't stand.     

I think one of the reasons why dissimilar (or opposite) people are so drawn toward each other is because that's what makes each other so interesting--that's what makes you want to know more about the person and be involved in their life.

Knowing that person is "the one," I suppose, is still wanting to travel down the road hand in hand with that person even though you understand that it's because of these differences that will make things difficult. It's about pissing each other off and driving each other to the brink of insanity, but still wanting to keep trying, to reach an understanding if not a solution--it's the effort involved that makes a relationship. To me, a relationship isn't a noun--it's a verb, a word of action; a continual maintenance.

I guess it's comparable to living life--life is hard most of the time, but there are things in it (usually the small things) that make you want to keep living; that is why you're going to do what you can to continue in this world. There will be good times, there will be bad times, and things will always fluctuate for better or worse, but it doesn't change you wanting to be here. It's all of that that gives life meaning, just as it is all of that that gives your relationship meaning and value. Does that make sense? I don't know, maybe my analogy/explication is a little weird.

There are varying degrees of compatibility, but I feel that it's mainly the chemistry between two people that determine a relationship. I feel many separations in relationships happen because of the loss of chemistry over time, not compatibility. You can be amazingly compatible with each other, but if you lack the chemistry or the sexual attraction toward that person, it cannot be.

Finding the "right one" is comparable to planning your future and expecting it to turn out exactly how you envisioned it.

It simply doesn't happen that way--half the time, it's due to circumstances beyond your control.

You can't make an order, plan it all out to meticulous detail, and expect to find someone who reaches all your standards, having similar views, opinions, and interests--because what it comes down to in the end is chemistry, that certain attraction that you have for someone that you can't really explain the reason for. Whether or not he or she is the "right one" is based on how willing you are to fully invest yourself into that person, vice versa.

Ho hum. But what do I know?

Akira Kosemura - Light Dance

Maybe you'll think differently, but this is probably one of the prettiest piano pieces I've heard in a long time.  There's just something about it that draws me in--I can't explain it.  

Eternal Playlist worthy.

I have to laugh.

K's having problems with T, our new housemate who's subleasing for the quarter. The thing about T is that she's very particular about certain things due to her hypersensitivity to the environment.

Anyways, so K turned on the air conditioning because our apartment somehow reached about 90 degrees tonight. Within seconds, T burst out of her room and desperately asked, or rather, nagged for him to turn it off. Being the "nice guy" (or what I like to call, pushover) he is, he complied. Then he proceeded to leave the apartment, presumably, to get some air--however, on his way out, he slammed the door so hard that it rebounded open, and everyone within the vicinity overheard him throwing a fit on the balcony.

That's K for you.

Ellie Goulding - Little Dreams (Joshua Mellody Dubstep Remix)

You've got me caught in a place
Panic for a minute, got my brain in a daze

I wish you weren't in it

There are so many ways, to lose your attention
You can break everything but so what?
I can take anything.

Little Boots - Earthquake (Fytch's Complete Dubstep Rework)

Every little earthquake
Every little heartbreak going unheard
Every little landslide
Catch it in my hand I won't say a word.

"CHANTAL, CHANTAL, CHANTAL!"  K screamed as he thundered up the stairs.  "Look!" he said breathlessly.  Reaching out his arm, he opened his hand proudly, fingers spreading out in slow, dramatic sequence.  And there, right there at the very edge of his palm--lay a perfectly flattened mosquito about the size of a nickel. 

Such prowess displayed in our modest household tonight. 

At the sight of the dead creature, T--having recently been traumatized by an allergic reaction to a mosquito bite which had swelled up her forearm to the size of my calf, landing her in the emergency room for half a day (though, fyi, she had a total of 39 bites at the time, so I think it was pretty fortunate that only one had been affected)--immediately started to frantically spray insect repellant around to "protect" herself.  Fascinating.  Quite honestly, I still don't understand how she hadn't passed out from the toxic fume shield she had created, especially when she appeared to be hyperventilating at the time.  To put things into further perspective, when I touched her, her clothing was actually slightly damp.  That can't be healthy.

I, on the other hand, choked on the air pollutant and used it as an excuse to lock them both out of my room :)

Nicki Minaj - Superbass - Dubstep Remix - AurA

Catchy.

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away
Beating like a drum and it's coming your way
Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

Adele vs. Skrillex - Set Fire To Everybody (ca7's Mashup)

My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet.

 How I Met Your Mother, Season 7, Episode 3 - Ducky Tie
http://www.videobb.com/watch_video.php?v=veBqortvMhbM


 Wow.

Ted:  I used to believe in destiny, you know?  I'd go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and I think, "Wow, oh hey, maybe she's the one!"  Now I think, "I just know that bitch is going to take the whole-wheat everything bagel."

Robyn:  You've just been focused on work.

Ted:  No, it's more than that.  I've stopped believing.  Not in some depressed, I'm going to cry in my toast way.  Not in a way I even noticed until tonight.  It's just, every day, I think...I believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that...sucks.  What do I do about that, Scherbatsky?

Robyn:  You're Ted Mosby.  You start believing again.

Ted:  In what?  Destiny?

Robyn:  Chemistry.  If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing.

Ted:  What's that?

Robyn:  Timing.  But timing's a bitch.

Ted:  Hey, we still have our 40 deal right?  If we're both still single at 40...

Robyn:  I'm all yours.

-How I Met Your Mother, Season 7:  Episode 1 - Best Man

Example - Midnight Run (Flux Pavilion Remix)

I've read the ten commandments at large, 
no harm ignoring part of it
Had it up to here with the jargon, 
pardon there are my rules I started
Not saying that I don't feel guilty, 
silky smooth it's never gonna be
But I'm looking at a man in the mirror right now, 
and I'm not quite sure it's me.

A couple days ago, I went to my interview for The Davis Bridge Educational Foundation, which is a nonprofit organization that's dedicated to improving the academic achievement of low-income Davis at-risk students in grades K-12. 

During the interview, the coordinator stressed that this was a job that required a lot of heart and dedication--she said that these were children who needed someone that they could depend on, having experienced too much disappointment in their lives.  Because many of the students grow extremely attached to their mentors--some even experience meltdowns on the days that they fail to show up--it's vital that you can adhere to your work schedule.  Furthermore, in addition to providing tutoring services, you are also to serve as a role model for your assigned student(s) in order to provide inspiration for transcendent achievement.

I've been hired--they've placed me in an elementary school that's about 8 minutes away from campus by bus.  It's going to be a challenge--these kids have had hard lives and they'll be tough to get through--but I think I'll be ok (though, I am slightly terrified right now with the prospect, having little experience with tiny children). 

Although my parents aren't as enthusiastic as I am about working for Davis Bridge and they're advising me against this position (they want me to work a practical office job), they're respecting my decision to do so.  

Making a difference?  Check.

Andrew Belle - Add It Up

Come to think of it

I'm surprised that I didn't run
What's to make of it
The parts were not as great as the sum

I know it doesn't add up when you put it on paper
You were playing by the water cause you knew I would save you
Now that your time's run out

Oh when you add it all up
You'll see that nobody made you
You were clinging for your life as the memory escaped you
Now that your time's run out

I need a second wind of hope now
I need a second wind, a second to myself now
Now that my time's run out

Minty fresh Mojitos, Modern Warfare struggles, Margaret Cho marathons, talks of dinosaurs and genetic possibilities. Horror films. Questions. Ethical debates.  Conspiracies.

Time passes quick when you're clicking with someone.

It's terrible how distracting this can be from academic obligations.

Agnes Obel - Avenue

This is a really interesting song.  It's been awhile since I've found lyrics that have made me stop and really think about what it's trying to say. 

What is wrong at the end of the day
What is really wrong no one dares to say
You know you're wrong when there's only one right
but what is wrong when right is out of sight

Right rode away long ago
Before rescuing wrong from below
I might be mistaken I know
But hey we need to be somewhat

Foolish, feebleminded, wrong and senseless
Right rode off long ago,
there's nothing more you need to know
there's nothing more you need to show
Let us disagree, cause wrong was made for you to be

What is false when we can't hear no more
And there is nothing to cover for
What is wrong in this old wasted game
May right and wrong be one and the same

Right rode away long ago
Before rescuing wrong from below
I might be mistaken I know
But hey we need to be somewhat

Foolish, feebleminded, wrong and senseless
Right rode off long ago,
there's nothing more you need to know
there's nothing more you need to show
Let us disagree, cause wrong was made for you to be